What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

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Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Canadians went out of their way to help Americans stranded in Canada after 9.11.2001. Why did Canadians help so much the way they did? We read that Canadians don't particularly like Americans to begin with.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Why do I want to be caught sucking dick by my wife?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

How do you handle family members who ask for handouts?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

How do you write a letter to your uncle who sent you money for your birthday outfit?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Why cant I add weight to my lifts even though im completing my sets? Every time I try to add more weight I cant even complete one rep.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Why are there no fossils for the 'missing link' that connects our ancestors with other species? Is this a misconception or is there another explanation?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

What is your review of "Regent", episode 5 of Season 2 House of the Dragon?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Are you afraid to get married and why?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Why are North Carolina Democrats against Mark Robinson? He is the modern Martin Luther King Jr. and the Democrats are being stupid for not voting him.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Has anyone ever worn leather pants? Are they comfortable?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Make Nazis afraid again!